Absolution
by Kessolli
Summary: RikuSora slash. Riku is finally back from behind the doors he was trapped inside with the king. He realizes the longing he felt a year ago to see new lands was not what he though it was. The reason for his intense longing lies somewhere else. R&R!


Absolution  
  
Author: Kess, aka Cera Sligh  
  
Rating: PG-13 [slash]  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these boys. I just like to play with them.  
  
Characters: Sora and Riku  
  
Story: RikuSora slash. Riku is finally back from behind the doors he was trapped inside with the king. He realizes the longing he felt a year ago to see new lands was not what he though it was. The reason for his intense longing lies somewhere else. R&R!  
  
A/N: I think this is going to be a one-shot thing. (Unless of course I get tons of reviews. Mehehe.) Anyway, I wrote this whole thing in one night. It's not as lemony as I usually like, but I really think if Riku and Sora has a relationship it would be more emotional than physical. It's just a sweet little story. If you want more, review. If not, enjoy...  
  
It's been a few days since Sora came for me. I'm sitting on the familiar dock, the setting sun casting light heavy with pinks and purples upon me and Destiny Island. It's only been a year or so since I was here last, but it feels like an eternity. While I was trapped within the darkness, seconds lasted eternities. All I could do was wonder if I would ever see his face again, ever hear his laugh or smell his scent. I found myself fiercely regretting never telling him how I feel about him. I'm so grateful that I have another chance.   
  
But I'm so scared to tell him. I know his heart lies with someone else, but I just can't go on keeping this holed up inside of me. Even if he rejects me, I still need to let him know.  
  
I jump slightly as I feel a hand resting lightly on my shoulder. I swivel my shoulders, and look up to see him smiling down at me. Sora. My Sora. I want to smile back or say Ôhi', but I can't. It's as if I can't even move anymore. Under his stare, he has complete control over me.  
  
He sits down beside me, now. No, he's leaning against my shoulder. I can't handle this contact! If only he knew how much this tortures me. I can feel soft strands of chocolate brown hair tickle my neck, I can feel his slow breathing.  
  
"Riku, are you okay?  
  
His voice reminds me of home and warmth and sunlight- everything I was kept from while in the darkness. I can't get enough of the sound of his breathing.   
  
"What?" I say in a strained voice. Why does he think I'm not okay?   
  
"You're shaking."   
  
A soft brown hand rests on my arm, trying to calm my trembling body. A quick intake of breath and I melt beneath his concerned touch. I need to calm down. I'm home now. Everything will be okay. Though... Something is missing. Something as necessary and vital as the air in my lungs. I have to tell him. He shifts. What's he doing? Small, thin arms slide passed the skin on my neck and shivers course through my body. His hands clasp together across my chest, encircling me in a warm embrace. My heart is pounding.  
  
"Don't be afraid.  
  
Don't be afraid? Of what? The only thing I'm afraid of is what I might do to him if his body remains so very close to mine. I'm so full of longing and desire. I've lost control to outer forces before. What if it happens again? I have to tell him! I must ask him because I -have- to know!  
  
Painfully I force the words to spill forth from my mouth in an awkward flood full of misunderstanding. As I speak he rests his chin in the crook of my neck, his long eyelashes grazing my jaw, impairing my speech as I restrain my desire to touch.  
  
"Sora, when I was trapped behind those doors with the king, did you, um, d-did you share a paupu fruit with K-Kairi?" I wait. I've said it and now he must answer. I have to know. He isn't saying anything. Why not? He's pulling away now, releasing my and swinging his legs over the edge of the dock to swing his legs in rhythm with my own nervous swinging.  
  
I dare to glance over at him, and I see he's staring into the glassy ocean with a peculiar smile on his face. I think I've lost my ability to read his expressions. It's just been so long.  
  
"She asked me to."   
  
My heart plummets as despair floods my chest like the darkness. My worst fears are confirmed. I always knew deep in my soul that it had to be this way, but I wasn't willing to face it. Now that it's here, right in front of me, I cannot deny it any longer. There's no way I can tell him now. Now way.  
  
"But I told her I was saving it for someone else.  
  
What? Did he really say that? The sorrow is swept away as quickly as it had sunken in. But who is this someone else? It's not Kairi. Thank God it's not her. But it isn't me either, though I'd give -anything- to make it so. Still, who is it? I tap the sun baked wood with my fingernails a few times, breaking the silence that has settled as subtly as the darkness around us. Only a sliver of sun remains above the infinite horizon. Before I can stop myself, I stammer, "W-Who are you saving it for, then?  
  
Sora grins up at me with that smile I crave so much. I'd missed it terribly while the darkness was in me. The memory of his smile had kept me sane, kept me from losing my heart completely. But now it's breaking my heart. It hurts.  
  
I want to run away and cry alone. I want to slip back into the darkness where my love for him can fade and I can be numb. I don't want to feel this anymore. I'm dying from within and I just want to get away from it.  
  
Sora stands up, offering a hand to me. I take it, wishing our gloves would disappear so I can feel his skin against mine. He pulls me up, releasing my hand once I'm on my feet. It falls limp at my side.  
  
"Follow me and I'll tell you who I'm saving it for.  
  
Do I really want to know? Will it be better to go on not knowing? I might just be driven to kill whoever it is that has captured mt sweet Sora's heart. But when he begins walking across the dock, I can not stop my legs from moving. I need to bear near him. He is my source of life and my only reason for existing. I can't just stand and watch him walk away. My feet seem heavier than usual as I walk along the cooling white sand, stepping inside of Sora's footprints. Maybe I can soak up a little of his presence by stepping where he was moments before. I lift my eyes to watch his small calf muscles tighten and relax with each step. I'm addicted to the way his hips sway ungracefully and his arms swing loosely at his sides. I wish I could walk forever... as long as I get to walk with him.  
  
Suddenly his pace quickens and he's running. He buckles then springs, jumping up onto the roof of the shack. He makes it half way, his arms hooked over the edge of the roof, feet slipping as he tries to climb the side of the shack. I can't help but smile as his body twists and wriggles with the task at hand. I walk up to him, wrapping my arms around his legs and hoist him up. I'm left breathless, but not from the effort of pushing him up.  
  
"Thanks," he pants, and I smile at him. Why am I suddenly unable to speak again? I crouch then launch myself off of the sand, landing smoothly on the roof with both my feet. "I wish I could do that." Sora mumbles, but I wave it away. He crosses the roof and jumps down off the other side, landing with a dull thud. I follow, landing almost silently.   
  
Another dock, this one more familiar than the last. I can already see the island where we used to engage in playful combat. I used to spend so much time sitting on that bent paupu tree, gazing out at the endless water, dreaming of other worlds. I'd been so foolish. I didn't even realize I already had everything I wanted here on this island. I didn't realize how lucky I was to live in such a beautiful, peaceful place with friends I loved.   
  
The new worlds I had found turned out to be cold and dangerous, and I ended up only wanting to go home. Now I'm home, running my hand along the smooth bark of the tree I knew so well. But I'm still not happy. I would welcome the darkness I tried so fervently to escape. The longing in my heart overwhelms everything else, and it hurts so much. Before everything happened, I felt the longing, though I thought it was simply my desire to see new worlds. I was so wrong.   
  
Now I know very well what the longing is. I also know it will never be satisfied. That is why I can never be happy here or anywhere.  
  
"You always won our fights."   
  
His quiet voice forced me back to reality and I saw him sitting on the trunk of my tree, his back towards me, staring at the place were the sun had been moments before. Automatically, I move to sit beside him. Strange. Oh God, he's leaning into me. My heart is aching. Why does he do this to me? He gives me little tastes of the sensations I crave that I can never have.   
  
I want to push him away and dive into the water and sink to the bottom where I can find peace. He has something in his hands. What is it?  
  
"A paupu fruit?  
  
He smiles and nods. He also looks afraid. Why? It doesn't matter. I should just leave. I don't want to hear about the girl he's going to share that binding fruit with. It will hurt too much. But before I can jump down, I feel the smooth, cool skin of the fruit grazing my fingers as its weight is shifted into my hands. Why...  
  
I don't know what to do. What's happening? I look at Sora and he is looking at me. His eyes seem to be sparkling. Is he crying?  
  
"Sora...?  
  
He places his hands over mine, sniffling quietly. "Riku, I know you see me as only a friend and..." he shifts a bit closer, "and I know you'll find this, well, strange, but... The person I want to share the fruit with," he took a long, shuddering breath and my heart stopped cold in my chest. This is it. Now I'll know. This could be the last night I'll live to see.  
  
It's you, Riku. It's... you.  
  
At first I can't even move. This can't be real. Am I dreaming? A tear falls from his eyes and splashes onto the back of my hand. No, this -is- real. I can feel that I am trembling again, but for a different reason than before. This -can't- be happening. It's too good to be real. But it -is- real and I need to say something before Sora sheds another tear. I don't like seeing him cry.  
  
"Sora..." I cup his face in my hand and tilt it upward to look into his eyes, glittering like wet sapphires. "May I kiss you?" I find my own voice to be constricted with tears. He smiles his beautiful, honest, amazing smile and nods. Can this be happening? Everything is so surreal as I lean in closer to this boy that I love with all of my heart. My head is spinning. My lips brush his, trembling and dampened with tears. More. I press my mouth into his, breathing deeply, taking in his comforting scent.   
  
So many years of longing are being poured into eachother as we kiss. He moans softly and I know he needs this just as much as I do. This is more incredible, beautiful, wonderful than anything I've ever felt before. This is -powerful-. I deepen the kiss, entangling my fingers in his soft hair, winding my arms around his narrow shoulders pulling him in closer as his thin arms encircle my waist. I wish I could just melt right into him and get lost in his grace. God, I love this boy. More than -anything- and I want to be with him forever.   
  
I pull back and my breathing is coming in short gasps as does his. I take his hands in mine and lace our fingers.  
  
"Sora, there's something I should have told you a long time ago." How can I ever tell him how much I care about him with words alone? Three syllables. So simple. Is it enough?  
  
"I love you."   
  
He smiles. I'd go to the moon and back just to see him smile.  
  
"I love you too, Riku. More than anything or anyone. I want you to be beside me forever.  
  
"Forever is a long time." I pick up the star shaped fruit that was resting in my lap. "But forever is not nearly long enough.  
  
Sora and I fall into eachother's arms, feeling our love radiate through our bodies as our hearts beat in rhythm against eachother's chests. I let him go and sit back, lifting the fruit.  
  
"Well, than. Shall we?"   
  
He laughs happily. "Yes!  
  
And so it is sealed. Sora and I are going to lead intertwined lives forever. No matter what happens now, I'll know he's there, and I will be with him, too. Even if I must follow him into the depths of Hell, I'll never let him go. The darkness cannot touch us anymore.   
  
We are free.  
  
A/N: So, didja like it? Please review and let me know what you think. You may flame as long as you don't flame about the male/male stuff. Reviews would really be helpful. 


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